I wish I could have back all that time, energy, effort, and MONEY that I wasted on you in the last year AND last spring break.
- You: If you're doing something that hurts someone, then that's fucked up. Especially if you repeatedly do it. If you really cared about this person, then you wouldn't do anything to hurt them. How can you possibly "love" someone if you know what you're doing is hurting them and you keep doing it?
- Me: Ironic that you should say that being as how you do that very thing time and time again. How can you possibly "love" someone when you continuously say terrible things about them? If you really loved them, then you wouldn't do the things you do and you wouldn't say the things you say.
This week sucks….2 people in my family have died in the last week, and I’m reliving everything that happened after my dad passed as a result. To add to the fact that my depression is worsening, I have finals that I need to study for, yet I could not care less about preparing for them.
Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya tomorrow; you’re always a day away…
Tomorrow is going to be sooooo long!!!!
I have to be up at 5:45…class until 12:15…get my ass kicked in the gym with my sister Danielle…shower…study…PC meeting…quality time with my Big and hopefully some much needed advice from her…
Let’s talk about…
what a FABULOUS day I am having!!!
Me and my Big from Semiformal on Friday night!
I’m so strong for everyone around me. I am there for them at all times and never let them know think something is bothering me. I put on this front and pretend like everything is fine. “I’m fine” is my programmed response whenever someone asks if I’m okay.
However, the truth is that my depression is worsening. I never took the time to grieve for the death of my father, and it is hitting me now like a freight train. I am literally falling apart at the seams and can’t seem to get myself together. I literally don’t care about anything, and I hate everyone - including myself! I have to be strong for my mom, but all I want to do is curl up in a ball and cry.
I am so so so scared that something is going to happen. My family has already been ripped apart once, and I can’t even bare the thought of anything happening to my mother. She is my rock and my best friend. I honestly don’t know what I would do without her.
So here I am…needing someone to be strong for me, tell me everything is going to be okay, and make me feel safe…yet I lay here alone.
Let it be noted that on this day: September 24, 2012, I finished a lip balm in its entirety. I started this can on January 01, 2012 and not once did I lose it or use any other Chapstick.
Found this on my desktop while I was cleaning my computer. Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve posted something other than my usual reblogging of pictures. I’ve been really busy with school, work, and my new sisters. In case you were wondering, school has started back up, and I’m loving being home and attending VCU. I have a very busy schedule and am tired all the time, but I’m hanging in there. I’m now a sister of Zeta Tau Alpha, and I’m loving all my new sisters. I have my sisterhood retreat this weekend, and even though we’re going camping - which is not my thing - I’m very excited to bond with my sisters. Sorry it’s been so long, but I’ll try to post more and keep your updated.
You haven’t seen my face in a while….This is me and my nonexistent boyfriend at my niece’s graduation back in June.